The Smoke…and why I don’t.

Life has been a bit mad.  Up and down.

Up because I completed the CELTA course and I managed to push up from a Pass to a Pass B which I am so proud of.  I know I got there because I worked damn hard and not because of luck.  For the first time in my life I tasted the fruits of really working hard for something I’ve wanted (apart from passing my theory test which wasn’t hard at all).  I’ve always coasted through my A-levels and degree with a push at the end, but CELTA for me meant steady improvement week after week and taking on board the suggestions of my tutors.  So I am immensely proud of my Pass B (it’s not as good a a Pass A but that was out of my sites so I don’t worry about things like that.  Pass was were I was and Pass B within my sites so I really achieved my goal).  I got the certificate last week with a report in it saying that I’d be an asset to any language school, and my tutor told me face to face some very complimetary things, although he told me to eliminate the nervous jibbery part of my personality to improve further. Hehehehe.  I said why hadn’t he put it like that before in the actual lesson feedback.  Maybe it would have worked better than the official term they use which is “grade your language.”

Afte CELTA finished, I got all down and sad feeling like I only had my job to exist for until I get to Spain where my love is.  I felt also that the intellectual part of my brain was not getting any sort of work out so I felt quite depressed.  With all this extra time, I had too much time for feeling low like nobody cared about me other than Mr S.  My uni buds have their own things going on and I don’t have many pals in Merseyside.  To fill my time, I meet up with a Portuguese girl to get that all back on track.  I help her with English, she helps me with Portuguese.  Fair enough.

Last weekend I had a marvellous time in London.  I was rather surprised.  It’s been some time since I was last in London and I’ve only ever had school trips or Soul in the City 200…4?  That was a project-based programme and so I only saw Trafalgar Square and St. Pauls.  This time, we spent three nights and two full days making the most of it.  We saw some great places like Portobello Rd which I remember the Ras from my old halls of residence going on about constantly.  I saw Covent Garden, which was beautiful and seemed like a posher Liverpool.  We saw the Apple Market where everybody exhibited their crafts and stunning gifts and a fabulous reindeer nearby illuminated for Christmas.

I visited Harrods for the first time ever and bought a present from the Arcade for the Love of my Life.  We went to China town and Westminster and Brick Lane and all over.  I overcame my fear of the London Underground.  I didn’t see any ghosts, sadly, but it was a marvellous way to get about.  We had Oyster cards which made life easy.  I blame the time spent on the Tube for turning my snot black (sorry to be so graphic, but I had to live it so you can all share in the misery!).  There was a spectacular Christmas Market and Winter Wonderland based at Hyde Park which would have been a great place to spend a whole day.  I’m happy to say that the Wish Fairy was conscious of my thoughts and has since magicked an amazing Christmas Market in Lord Street in Liverpool just for me.  I’ve only seen the closed huts being prepared, but I shall endeavour to make a visit there tomorrow or very soon.  I need a friend to go with.  Mr S is not here so I need someone else.  I’m not going to take my Portuguese friend as she insulted me by saying that Manchester is a better city than Liverpool.  People have been hanged for saying things like that to a Scouser!  You just don’t make unfavorable comparisons like that to me.  London was fab but Liverpool is where my heart is and Manchester doesn’t even enter the equation.

When I was in Harvey Nicks after visiting Harrods, I had to have a look at the clothes.  I looked at the clothes in Harrods as well.  We felt like we wanted a true impression of this world that we don’t belong to.  I glimpsed the price tags (okay, I deliberately looked for them!) and gasped at the idea of paying 2800 pounds for an ugly safety pin jacket.  I have no desire to ever buy any of these things but the curiosity makes me browse.  The shop assistants seemed very helpful, two of them asking me if I needed any help.  I felt like I was being watched by security for being a prole in an establishment such as this wearing my Accessorize hat and Primark coat looking rather indescreet.  I thought I’d set off a thought police alarm for not revering the articles within this shopping temple.   One assistant, on asking if I wanted assistance, to which I replied “No thank you, I’m just admiring the things I’ll never be able to afford” looked at me and said, by way of comforting this poor Northern oik “Oh, I’m sure you will be able to one day!”  Errr, yeah.  Because the whole aim of my existance is to one day afford Harvey Nicholls clothing.  Because nothing else matters.  Because my life is simply incomplete with out a dazzling wardrobe of designer clothing.  I cant’ imagine how I’ve come this far without taking my own life, reduced to a pitiful life of lower end of the range high street shops.  The shame of it.  I wanted to say that even if I had that sort of money, which is unlikely to happen on an EFL wage, I simply would not look any further than good old Mr John Lewis where I’m sure I can buy anything as beautiful.  That’s as up market as I would go.  I honestly did not see anything in Harvey Nicks or Harrods that appealed to me more than what you find in Jane Norman, New Look, Top Shop or Dotty Perks.  Maybe I’m vulgar and blind to the bountiful qualities to be found within HN clothes…but it would sicken me to part with that much cash on a cloth to cover my nakedness.

I’m now making lots of earrings to hopefully sell at a craft fair in November.  Will post some pics soon.

Update

Hi all,

Sorry it’s been a while.  The ironic thing is when your life fills up with great things to talk about, you don’t manage to blog about it all.

The two most important peices of news are:

I finished my ECDL with BCS IT level 2, and

CELTA is absolutely fantastic.  Hard work and tiring, but very much worthwhile.  I’ve completed three weeks of the part time course and it’s going great.  I’m learning a huge amount of information which wll serve me well in the future.

So, other than that, I’ve been fasting during Ramadan.  I did 19 days and the other days I was exempt for having a cold and other reasons that I won’t go into.  Now that I am not fasting, I genuinely miss it.  I miss experiencing a true sensation of hunger in my belly that makes me appreciate food one hundred percent.

Many people wondered why I should choose to do such a hard task.  At times, it was very hard and I struggled with the hunger, some days more than others.  I missed having a coffee to wake up and drinking water to moisten my throat.  I didn’t lose much weight, maybe about three pounds but then it goes up and down everyday.  I felt more patient during the fast and eating was wonderful come sunset.  Now, the eating doesn’t seem as special because I can do it whenever, so my body is fighting back and not getting very hungry when it should do.  I’m glad I could empathise somewhat with those who go hungry regularly with no choice.

In other news, thoroughly enjoying some great TV at the moment.  Alone in the Wild is a big hit for everyone.  Wonderfully eery in a way that reminds you of the Blair Witch Project.  I’m also watching Design for Life with the charmingly eccentric Philippe Starck who has opened my eyes to the world of bizarre interpretation of just about any product that I’m not sure I’d buy in either sense of the word…neither the product nor the conceptualisation.  Still, listening to his thick French accent always teaches me more and more about language…which many people know is a passion of mine.  I’m also tuning in from time to time to a show called “Tough Guy or Chicken” which, despite its stupid name, is actually intensely interesting.  I love learning about other cultures and how others live their lives and it’s great to se 5 of our own British lads getting stuck in to the traditional rituals of their hosts.  I think these men are being very tough  and  I think this is a great advert.  We ladies do not need men who run screaming from spiders!  Rather, we need to know we can rely on them to catch us a wild goat for supper if Tesco’s runs out.

I’m still designing my jewellery although not so much during the CELTA course.  It will be back and there will be a website soon to show them off.

Earrings and Arty Things

Over at sonrisasden.blogspot.com

I am interested in selling my things, but not all things are for sale.  I would make special copies of ones that are not for sale on request.  Paintings are not for sale and most earrings are.

I’m being very vague, I’m sorry.  Mostly, I just want your feedback.

K xx

September 1st already?

Woowwww.  Where does the time go?  Still, September is a good month.  Here’s what I’m going to do:

• Start CELTA ( TEFL ) course;
• Finish ECDL;
• Try to sell some earrings;
• Hopefully start new job;
• Start saving some money;
• Be nice and helpful to everyone.

This and That – apogies 4 typos…will reread this in the morning

I drink so much coffee but it really doesn’t affect me because I feel like nodding off right now.

I can’t beleive how slow my laptop is being.  It’s really rather frustrating.

I’m trying to make jewellery.  I really don’t know if I’m any good, but I try and I hope my time and effort is worth something to someone.  Ebay is not the place to try and sell my earrings as no-one seems to bid.  Neclaces, on the other hand, seem to attract more bidder activity.  Maybe I shall try and target the necklace buying public.  I’m going to upload some pictures very soon.  I’ve been ordering beads and pretty pouches from Ebay.  Some people seem to offer a fair deal.  At the moment they are sellers or a seller from Hong Kong who is selling many units for a very low price.  It’s fair enough if people want to purchase items imported from places like China, only I feel uncomfortable when China is obviously able to set a lower proice for these items than in the UK.  I would rather buy from UK sellers thus reducing Air miles and supporting UK traders.  So, out of principle, I’d rather pay that little bit more and know that I’m supporting small business and independent sellers here where it’s difficult to make a profit.

I’m really missing my sweet, lovely man today.  I can’t speak to him every day as he’s in Spain and he’s without internet access in his current house, so I’m in a situation where I can only speak to him three or four times a week until my free minutes arrive .  I’ve spent way too much on top ups lately so I just have to put up with limited contact.  I totally trust him and love him so I don’t get too sad, but I do miss him.  I have become so patient about the situation.  I’m going to go to Spain and join him only I’m trying to establish myself a little bit financially.  Even if I could get a job in Spain I’d do it.  The TEFL course is the key and this new part-time job is going to help me save some money.

I’m tired and waffling now, but I’m going to try and blog more regularly.

A demain, mes amis!

PS Just a thought totally off the subject of my post…I’m watching a re-run of Channel 4’s The Family, and the poor father, he’s so stressy just like my dad can be sometimes, and for all the right reasons.  A good father may seem like he’s uptight but really he’s worrying about the problems of all the members of his family.  He’s stressing and uptight because he wants to protect the family financially and ensure that each child has a future and when each memeber of the famly has his/her own problem.  He’s the keystone of the family and all the burdens fall to him on occasion because things don’t always work out as planned for everyone all at the same time.  I don’t know if everyone knows what I’m talking about, but basically dads have to earn money and worry so much about the future of their offspring.  They don’t just have their own worries.  My dad has 4 people’s worries on his shoulders and it’s been worse while my mum and I have not been working and he’s had to bail me out financially several times this year with my bills thanks to drastically high rent and pitiful student loan.  I really have to pay him back so much!  So let’s be nice to dads and try not to burden them unnecessarily where we can avoid it.

News

I’m sorry about the lack of blogging.  I do have the time.  I do have things to say.  I just…forget to blog.

I think when you are unsure about how things are in your own life you tend to refrain from announcing things.

I had an interview today for a part time post at a college as an administrator.  I have been offered the job this afternoon and the hours are to be negotiated.  This means I’ll hopefully be able to wangle my Fridays off so I can do CELTA.  Now, the term “To be negoticated” suggests that they ask me what I’d be willing to do, yes?  Or am I just being naive?

So that’s two successful interviews under my belt and the last post recieved 150 applicants.  I feel very pleased that I should be chosen from 150 people and is just the sort of confidence boost I’ve been needing for a long time.  And since I’m fresh out of college with not much experience in the work place, I find myself questionning why me?  What have I done to deserve this out of 150 applicants?  Typical me.

So they need to get back to me with details and I will have to have a CRB check which is standard practice.

And I start my CELTA course on Friday!

Hellos and goodbyes…

Hi, quick update.  Have loads of photos to upload but haven’t managed to do it.  Computers are too slow for me.  I have done an interview for DWP which went well and now I’m waiting for them to contact me about a position.  I have done 4/7 parts of the ECDL, I start my CELTA course in a couple of weeks and I am breaking into the world of e-bay to sell my beaded earrings.  Although there are so much beautiful competition which make my earrings look so plain and simple, I’m hoping for at least one bid.  Any ebay tips are welcome.

Miss Mr. A and hope to find a teaching job in Spain as from November, but you’ll have to watch this space.

Very sad to hear that Fabulous is leaving the world of blogging, but I wish her the best of luck with her future in the less virtual world with the upcoming arrival of her second baby.  Fabulous has really inspired me during the past few years and I’ve looked up to her as almost a blog big sis as she has done so much and is so very talented.  You’ll be missed, Fab! xx

A Perfect Day.

Moving forward slowly

I’ve decided to do something with my free time while I’m looking for a job.  I’ve registered to do my European Computer Driving Licence.  I’m hoping to do it intensively, completing it in two or three weeks.  I’ve started revising my first module, which I’m finding quite interesting.  I don’t know much about computers, but I’m going to learn very quickly.  The reason I opted to do this was because so many office obs require ECDL, so I feel this is something I should possess.  this will help the job situation.

Last week, feeling strangely motivated to actually do something, I applied for five jobs, and decided to fill in a CELTA application form.  CELTA is the most recognised certificate for teaching English as a foreign language.  It’s very expensive, at £1050 for the course.  I don’t possess this money.  So why apply?  I think it’s faith that somehow I’ll find the money before September.  I’m not usually so spontaneous.

Still I feel the week has been positive.  I lost my motivation about three years ago, and everything has seemed an effort.  Even the best times in France and Spain have been dogged by my unwillingness to get moving.  So for me, filling in forms off my own steam is something that makes me feel empowered.

Updates

It’s lovely receiving comments.  I feel very excited when my google mail account tells me I have a new comment.  I need to update my links as I’ve noticed that although most of you still blog from time to time, a couple have been very quiet for a while.  I never no if this is because people feel enough is enough with the blog for the time eing, which happens to me sometimes.  Sometimes, life gets in the way, and although some very bloggable things happen, talking about life’s difficulties can be hard.

Facebook certainly affects the blogger waves, because it’s much easier to publish a little status than write a post.  There most certainly is a place for both.  Well, here are my status updates.  I’m not in the habit of “like”-ing my own status, as it’s obvious that you like what you write or write what you like, but I think my status ranges from funny to deep to downright confusing, so I like them.

Crazykites ever looked at a photo of yourself and felt jealous?

07 June at 17:21 ·

Crazykites Enjoying Charlie Brooker’s unique insight into today’s television….I have to agree with what he is saying about the crazy rubbish on our screens…that so-called “empowerment” is a euphemism for getting your kit off…

17 June at 03:15 ·

Crazykites Halfwit’s not trying to make a music career for himself, is he?

17 June at 23:54 ·

Crazykites packing all my Newcastle things…can’t believe how many clothes I have and how much paper I have accumulated. Thank goodness for the new recycling bin outside.

18 June at 16:16 ·

Crazykites Seriously contemplating making a chocolate cake.

20 June at 16:03 ·

Crazykites eating cake (that i made!!!)

20 June at 21:47 ·

Crazykites Found my talent at last!!! Wahooo! All is not lost!

21 June at 23:18 ·

Crazykites not having money is a seriously debilitating condition!

22 June at 15:39 ·

Crazykites So I may not get the degree I want, but at least I have the best boyfriend who loves me far more than I love myself.

24 June at 20:13 ·

Crazykites No-one’s got a fella as good as mine!!!

25 June at 15:47 ·

Crazykites These are the days so wake up, coz this is the time…and you know I’m right!

26 June at 12:00 ·

Crazykites Tomorrow Kirsten will be ready to FIGHT BACK!

28 June at 17:24 ·

Crazykites Actually feeling rather nostalgic today…

29 June at 12:48 ·

Crazykites Very pleased – have had some delightful conversations this evening that give me a spring in my step. A cloud is lifting! Missing my favourite guy.

29 June at 23:33 ·

Crazykites off out for some self-improvement missing my sweetheart xxx

Thurs at 15:01 ·

Crazykites I think this week has gone well. Miss my friends.

Fri at 00:34 ·

Crazykites Disappointed that Murray is out Otherwise a successful day

Fri at 18:45 · 

Crazykites Michael Owen, I don’t know you!

Fri at 19:22 ·

Crazykites Gone are my days of coasting….Thanks for the inspiration, Roger Federer. Hard work reaps rewards. I’m so sorry, Andy Roddick, I was rooting for you. Incredible Wimbledon, have witnessed three historic moments. It’s onl sport but it’s a metaphor for life.

about an hour ago ·

That was a random selection, which highlights my ups and downs of the last month.